"Go Smack"

So, the first two weeks of Hispanic week are over, and it's now Week 4 here at camp. We've got a full group of kids, 62 campers, and I've got 8 Bears.

I'm starting to realize how old I really am. Kids today have all sorts of new slang/terminology that I've never heard before in my life, and so... now I'm learning.

I'd like to provide a cheat sheet to all these new slangs, or at least my favorites out of them for the benefit of all my fellow counselors/un-hip/un-knowledgeable people.

*DISCLAIMER: These definitions are based on the explanations of twelve year olds, and they have informed me that they are rather unique to the DMV area (D.C., Maryland and Virginia)

Smack (v.) - To flirt; hit on someone 
           "I think Sally is really pretty"
            "Then go smack."


Guh (adj.) - An abbreviated form of gullible, used in situations when someone does something foolish, can be used in substitution for gullible.
             "Did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?"
             *Looks up*
             "You guh!"


Welling (v.) - To tell an over-exaggerated story; to tell an untrue story
               "I was walking down the street, and 9 million women were chasing me!"
               "You welling!"
O.C. (adj). - Short for, Out of Control. But has multiple implications
                              1. When someone is acting wild and crazy they are, O.C.
                              2. When someone thinks they are hilarious and is always cracking jokes, but in reality they are actually extremely un humorous, they are then referred to as, O.C.



"Go Smack" has become a new favorite of mine. I regularly will go up to a random camper and instruct him to "go smack." But usually there's no one else around except our group, and he'll turn to me and inquire, "to who?" To which I'll respond, "Iunno, I just like saying the phrase." So, it has become a catch phrase amongst my Bears and I. If we lose at flag-tag, why did we lose? Because... we didnt smack. If we win at basketball, why did we win? Because we smacked...


We are not in the process of inventing a new slang term for the youth of the nation.

Colonel




Colonel (adj.) - Used to describe something that is especially cool or impressive.
              Upon witnessing something amazing... 
              "That's colonel man."




Why does Colonel mean cool?

Because you can't hate on this man...

Can Someone Fix That?

Ah... the Slip 'N Slide, what a classic source of amusement and entertainment for children/adults of all ages. What better way to entertain the campers of Camp Bennett then by making our very own Slip 'N Slide? Use some solid material, wet it with some hoses, rub a bit of conditioner on yourself and you can slip and slide yourself into a world of fun, and hilarity.  Look at that little boy(girl? Kind of ambiguous really) in the photo up there, that child is in a world of joy and excitement!

But what happens, when a child gets onto the Slip 'N Slide, slips, but then doesn't slide? Does this child have only half the fun of his/her peers who are slipping AND sliding? In a word....


No.


It was a beautiful Wednesday morning/afternoon, and my campers and I, were merrily experiencing the fun of the Slip 'N Slide. As expected, within minutes, the Slip 'N Slide transformed into a war zone of speed. Campers and counselors put their pride on the line, as they raced each other down to the bottom of the Slip 'N Slide.

"1! 2! 3! Go!" was the theme of our battlefield, and person after person was sent zooming down the nylon racetrack.

"1! 2! 3! Go!"

"STOP STOP STOP!"

Right in the middle of his running start, one poor camper desperately tried to stop on top of our nylon track, and, expectedly slipped

As I have attempted to illustrate above, he slipped in a way akin to the way things slip in shows such as, the Looney Tunes. However, as he slipped and launched his body into the air, when he came to the ground, he landed head first. The back of his head kissed the ground with surprising force and speed, he assumed the fetal position, and began writhing in pain. 

Groaning and wriggling in pain, he eventually rolls off the track and everyone assumes at this point that this child has just suffered a self-inflicted concussion. 

But then, through this dark cloud of gloom and sorrow, one counselor stabbed through the darkness and shed light/laughter upon the whole situation. 

After surveying the entire situation, and witnessing that which had just unfolded, he raises his voice, points his finger and says:

"Can someone fix the Slip 'N Slide down there?"

...

Brilliant. Perfect. Amazing.

You see, as a result of all the intense slipping and sliding that had been occurring, the far end of our track had slightly folded over itself, and this required a remedy/repair.

This was easily my favorite moment at Camp Bennett thus far, a child is on the ground with what we suspected to be a concussion (he turned out to be fine in the end), and this counselors heart and concern was for the fold that had developed in the Slip 'N Slide rather than the writhing child.


"Can someone fix that?"

He Can.

Begin Week 2

It's 8:50 P.M. and I'm driving up to MD to get back to Camp Bennett before 9:00 P.M. As I'm driving, I approach a light and it suddenly goes yellow, and by, "approach a light," what I really mean is that I'm right in front of a light as in, it's just a few hundred yards from me. So, I decide to speed up to EASILY catch this light, this is something that in NoVA would of course be no problem.... But then I remember... speed cameras! Fun Fun! (screw you Maryland.)

My consequent thought process becomes,  "I can just ease my way through that light at 30 MPH and not set off the camera, I might make it JUST under the red, but that's fine." As I carry out this extremely sensible and reasonable action, and as I pass the point of no return i.e. underneath the light, I realize, it also has a camera for those who run red lights... (Screw you again Maryland, your crab cakes suck). Moral of the story?

Screw Maryland and it's ridiculous traffic regulations/enforcement.

After arriving to Camp Bennett I dropped my luggage into my cabin which smells like rancid milk mixed with cockroaches and mold, highly appeasing/appetizing I know.

Time drifts on and with every passing series of minutes more and more people arrive at the campsite, and I realize... why I'm so excited about Camp.

It's not for the kids. I'm excited for the counselors. I'm excited to get to know this passionate group of people who're taking time out of their summers to: care for, inspire, discipline, strengthen, and encourage, a new generation.

I'm excited to see this body of Christ, breathe life into those parts of the body that will soon replace us. I'm excited to see the evidences of grace and godliness in my fellow counselors, to be humbled by their strengths while rejoicing in the marvelous work that God has done in them.


It's late and I should be sleeping, but I can't sleep, there's so much anticipation in me. My mind is racing and I'm nervous about a thousand different and mostly unrelated things: nervous I'll mess up, nervous I won't be able to relate with the kids, nervous I'll get sick, nervous I'll beat a child with an umbrella, nervous I'll get mauled by a bear (or at least a raccoon), but my biggest worry?


Having a seizure in Prince George's County, because apparently they're the slowest EMT ever. Or that someone with less incredible CPR training than me, will have to perform CPR upon my limp and quickly-becoming-lifeless-body....

 and I won't have a mouth...

or head.

End Week 1

First blog post, and first week of C.B. (Camp Bennett) has ended, did some paperwork, cranked out some skits and paperwork, got certified in multiple things, and can belay like a champ (or so I like to think).

My initial thoughts...

1. I'm excited, excited to be working with all the counselors I'm working with, they're all unbelievably, great, and passionate people who really love what they're doing here at Camp Bennett.

2. I'm tired, it's been an exhausting first week, and I've just been passing out this whole weekend as soon as I get into bed, I don't think I'll have many problems falling asleep here at Camp (assuming kids sleep, and we get rid of all those friggin' spiders right above my head).

3. I'm going to miss camp, after only the first week, I got back home on Friday evening and suddenly felt very lonely. I'm going through withdrawal. I've spent every waking moment with people for the past 5 days and suddenly there are hours of the day when I'm alone, I've got time by myself, and there's no one to talk to, eat with, play with, etc. I miss the nighttime snores and occasional yelps, the mealtime conversations and communal prayers, the morning devotionals, the afternoon set-ups, and Darryl, the initially unsettling-ly friendly cook.

4. Prince William Georges County EMT sucks (apparently). In the midst of my CPR, AED, and First Aid qualification the instructor keeps taking these snide shots at Prince William Georges County, as a police officer, he keeps talking about how Prince William Georges County EMT took forever to get to victims and how he was forced to perform CPR on a victim for twenty minutes whereas in Montgomery county only four minutes if even that long.

On that note, I cannot BELIEVE I am First Aid certified, this instructor literally just talked about First Aid for about ten minutes, demonstrated an Israeli bandage (which we don't have), talked about how to use Quick-Clot (which only the military has), and said to wash bee stings in soap and water, tie a tourniquet (with no instructions/demonstration), also that poisonous snakes/spiders exist in this area of Maryland. He just kept telling stories about ... CPR scenarios where victims might possibly not have mouths, or even heads, and in such instances it was necessary to perform only the chest compressions rather than both chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth since the victim did indeed, have no mouth (he seriously talked about this hugely unlikely scenario more than double the amount he talked about the much more likely case of cuts/concussions).

I leave for camp Sunday night, and get the first group of kids in! Prayers are appreciated, will try to update as often as I can and avoid, "blog-splosions." God Bless!


EDIT: It was Prince Georges County not Prince William County, thank you very much for the correction Senor Stude.